Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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