Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize