So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
