I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
