she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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