You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
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