There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
