goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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