yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You've changed since you got that strap on
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
