I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
