so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
