Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
