Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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