3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
