wrigley field is MILF paradise
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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