I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
