apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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