i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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