good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
