You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
