Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I could make wine with my vomit
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
