Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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