I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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