she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
