You can't special order awesome
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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