is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
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