They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
