office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
