i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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