He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
