he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
