i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
