Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize