i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
