just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
