You smell like stripper and shame
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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