He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
