I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
