I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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