i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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