This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
