OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
