if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
