I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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