I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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