If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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