Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
