Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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