We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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