i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
