During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
