Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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