Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
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Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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