Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Text me some of your sweat
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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