I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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