handjob tips. give me some.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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