You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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