READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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