Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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