Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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