Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
