I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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