I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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