are you still at the devil's house?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
