sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
