U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just want to make out with him forever
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
